The future is translucent, it is the portal we look through to learn more about the moment. The future is the mind itself, collecting and collaging images and instances out of our remarkable ability to formulate possibilities from habits, moments that map our thinking. I love you in my future. I love you so much now. My future, your future, or any future gathered here today, will never exist. A different future, strange and plain will occur. Any future that you can think of will never happen. You can’t know the future. When you imagine it, you are only saying what will never transpire. You are crafting the lie that guides, nothing more. I hope that we can be reticent enough to catch and examine the future when it occurs. To both receive it’s dailiness and redirect it’s happening tenderly and without too much blindness. This moment we are living, back when it was my future and I was riding in the back of my fathers Westfalia looking at paper doll wedding dresses, was going to take place at a mansion, and I would be wearing a flapper dress and a great hat. So that future never happened, but it did direct me here, into your embrace as a very fortunate person. The future is an icon that guides the everyday into it's perceived forms.
You and I are at the entryway of a fantastic mystery. In my future I take care of you, we have enough money to live, we have two kids with thin light brown hair and hazel eyes, and we are supportive of each other as individuals. We support and we try really hard to take space when we need it, or do what's right even if it's not pleasant or self serving. I really believe in family, if belief is faith and thought is spiritual, then you are a stained glass window in the cathedral of my psychology that I will look to for stories, for light, and for wonder. You will be in my thoughts, my concerns, my value system, my rational and irrational thoughts, I will drink deeply of you, and I support you and love you through knowledge, compassion, tenderness, warmth and respect. I know that you are remarkable. I know that you are capable, agile, loving, bold and warm. I like laughing with you. Choosing to be your partner is the biggest decision of my life to date, it will dictate much of what is to come for me. I can't think of anything else that I could choose that determines this much of the future.
I want you to be successful in life. A lot of success involves tranquility, stability and affection as well as independence, actualization, and expression. I will work to keep our family strong. To adapt to the changes that mark time, to look after you and in so doing look after myself. What's good for you will provide good for me and vis-versa, not exclusive good, we are different people, but your happiness will provide my happiness, and I will look out for both of us to the best of my capabilities. Partnership, the borderline that marks the meeting ground. May this future guide both of us to happiness.
May the years that are to come be guided by an ever changing future, conjuring images, exploring new truths that we will never reach. Rather, our striving will be marked with the material remains of hours, moments, memories and discoveries. Whatever will be will be, in the endless future, the day will stop the ever possible, it will conclude the reaching towards the invisible masterpiece of a visionary tomorrow with a daily droll, with a common chaos, the infinite grandness of the now. Here is to the everydayness we will share, the macaroni and cheese in bed, the smelling farts at fifty, the way I'll pick up the kids on Tuesday, and buy you a CD that you don't even want. Here is to the drool on the pillow, and all the little things that I will know about you that no one else will. Here is to the two grave stones side by side, to dentist trips, to skateboards, to great jokes, and knowing looks, to getting you another glass of wine. Here is to being in the audience at your film screenings and cheering obnoxiously, and congratulating you with deep earnesty in the car. Here is to conversations about should we live in LA, New York, Portland or San Francisco. Here is to listening to your tears on an old couch, and hugging you though it will only do so much good. Here is to watching Iron Man at five in the morning and falling asleep to Bergman. Here is to all the books that I will buy but you will read, to your insights that have my back and my intuitions that will have yours. I am signing on for the kingship of boredom and the knighthood of extremity because I love you, and in my future I love you, in new and unexpected ways. Here is to all our tomorrow's, marked now only as a dream, to be shaped and known together in the living out of our days as partners, lovers, monsters, angels, heroes, tormentors, but mostly loving friends, for life.
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