I have spoken to you about D., she was such a powerful and influential person in my life. This is her newest show happening down the block from your house. I don’t think that I will see it, though I have been invited, and I am not recommending it to you, but I wanted to give you an image, hopefully open the doorway to her immensity for you to see a fraction of a glimpse. I feel like I have been trying to say her to you and have always fallen way short. At times I still feel inside that company, internal sanctuary of drive, value, and solidity. I am wearing her dress today, I just found it after two years, a relic. I was with the company for four and a half years, it now feels like Atlantis swallowed by the sea, time has overlapped that form of thinking in me. She was a totem, radiant and magnetic. I gave her so much, and was inspired by her. She is also born under the sign of Aquarius, maverick, singular, visionary, boundless creature, painting the air with conscious landscapes. She is also a selfish tyrant who would manipulate anyone and anything to conjure her power and give access to her voice. After seeing S. I realized that I need to take my trophies from that time, our giant photo and review in the NY Times and the photo of our show in the New Yorker, and frame them as accolades of my past. Weird clippings, leftovers that can be used like coins for others to see, represent the value and worth of the real work, even if it is incapable of possessing the direct voice and power.
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